I remember being TERRIFIED my first day of clinical practice for nursing school. 

When I say terrified, I mean literally I wanted to throw up.  Lucky for me, I have a strong gag reflex.

I remember it as such an out of body experience.  I could hear my head screaming, “This is crazy!  You don’t know what you’re doing!”  and feeling paralyzed. But yet I could still manage to get my body to move somehow.

At the time I didn't understand this, but the fear came from all these thoughts that I would do it wrong, it wouldn’t work and I’d never become a nurse. 

It really all boiled down to one thought:

“You will fail.  Then you will be a failure.”

In the end I didn't fail.  I mean I did some, but I learned from it.

I figured it out. 

I didn’t let my crazy thoughts take over and I graduated nursing school.  I got a job.  I worked for 10 years as a RN.  I never became that failure I had imagined I would.

But, all that while, I was still scared.  I was still fearful.  Fearful I would ...