Are You Really in Love With ...

… yourself?

Yep. You read that question correctly.

I’ll ask it again, and this time, let every distraction fade into the background and allow yourself to answer honestly.

Do you love yourself?

If you answered that question with any of the following responses, this article is a MUST READ for you.

“Maybe.”

“Sometimes.”

“Yeah, but …”

“I don’t know.”

“Not really.”

Show of hands, who literally had any of these answers pop into your mind in response to the question?

I know, I can’t see you right now, but you can go on ahead and raise that hand. Put it on up there!

It seems like a relatively simple question to answer.

In reality, it is one of the most challenging questions Christian women have to face.

You spend your days working hard to model the Proverbs 31 woman.

You wake up earlier than the rest of the family to take care of some tidying up before the chaos begins.

Clothes have to be laid out. Socks have to be found. Dishes need to be put away. Lunches must be prepared.

That’s just the short list.

Oh, and at some point, you have to find time to throw on some clothes and get yourself ready for the day.

You head to work with your mind full of all the tasks on your list of “to dos.”

Of course, your mind constantly flip flops between what you must get done for work, the chores remaining undone at home, and everything your children need for school.

You may even have the extra responsibilities of being a caregiver for a parent or an in-law.

Not to mention you volunteer at church and have a few things on your to-do list for that as well.

Your plate is full.

But somehow, more and more seems to get added even though free space isn’t being made.

You’re tired.

You’re overwhelmed.

You’re struggling.

But … you don’t often let yourself embrace any of these realities simply because … you don’t have time.

You don’t have time to allow yourself to “feel” what is your reality.

Why?

That’s another solid question that may be hard to answer.

The short answer, and the most evident one, is simple.

You don’t allow yourself to acknowledge your own exhaustion and brokenness because you are caught up in the longest existing tall tale ever told.

A tale that says that Christian women must live up to the Proverbs 31 woman at all costs … mostly at the cost of herself.

She must deny herself to serve others.

She must be the caregiver of those around her, even when she is not feeling well.

She must ensure others have breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, and Starbucks … and of course, she can feast on the leftovers.

She must pour out of her time, talents, and emotions … but never get poured back into … because that would be selfish.

I have another question for you.

Answer this question honestly as well.

How long will you be able to be the Proverbs 31 woman in your world if …

You deny serving yourself with the same care you serve others with …

You push yourself to take care of everyone else when they are ill and do not care for yourself when you are ill …  

You provide nutrition for others and only partake of the leftovers for yourself …

You pour out every ounce of your strength and virtue and don’t allow yourself to be poured into …

I wonder if you are on the other side of these questions feeling a little bit like you’ve found yourself in a place you feel you have no other choice – because it’s just what a Christian woman is supposed to do.

Sister, friend, fellow woman in Christ … let’s connect on something very important right now.

You.

You are very important.

Need a little convincing?

Let’s take a look together at exactly why you are important and should be showing yourself love.

Say this with me – out loud if you will …

God Does Have a Purpose for Me

“Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

This scripture, found in the book of Jeremiah, says that God created you with a very specific intention.

You must know when God takes the time to create and breath life into a person, He has the highest hopes and expectations for their life. God does not haphazardly create. You were intentional.

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are they works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” Psalm 139:4

Scripture in the book of Psalm goes a step further to let you know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Artists today go to great lengths to care for their masterpieces.

You, sister, are a masterpiece of the creator of Heaven and Earth.

You are important.

It is imperative you give yourself permission to love yourself.

You may be a little more open to that concept, but still not sure.

Let’s continue to seek out just how precious you are in the sight of God.

Why Should I Love Myself?

“Master, which is the greatest commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord they God with all they heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” Matthew 22:36-40

When Jesus was asked about what was most important to him, he gave two answers.

Love God.

Love your neighbor as you love yourself.

He went on to say that all the law was literally hanging on those two commandments. They were just that important.

The loving God and loving your neighbor portion of the scripture seems to be primary messaging most receive; however, there is more.

“Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

If God tells you to love and care about your neighbor and he tells you to do so as you would love and care for yourself, it’s safe to say that God did not intend for you to run yourself to a literal breaking point where you would not be able to care for others or yourself.

To love others, that love must be preceded with a love for self because that love for self creates the foundation that gives you the strength to pour into others.

How Do I Start Loving Myself?

You have been pouring yourself into others for so long, knowing how to start loving yourself may be a foreign thought.

Let’s explore a few ways you can begin showing yourself love, starting today.

Rest

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Breaking away from the hustle and bustle of life and spending a few minutes with Jesus will refill your cup in a way that a full night’s sleep can’t.

Although, you shouldn’t underestimate the power of a little shut eye.

Elijah slept. Jesus slept.

If the fiery prophet and the Great I Am took time to rest their bodies, so should you.

Get Away

Before you start thinking about not having time to “get away,” know there is another type of get away that won’t cost all your frequent flyer miles.

“For you have been a refuse for me, A tower of strength against the enemy.” Psalm 61:3

Scripture tells us that God is a strong tower, a place where we can run and hide and get a little break from the chaos of life.

In times you can’t take a trip out of town, take a trip into His presence and “hide out” for a bit. He has made himself available.

Seek Wisdom

“He that getteth wisdom loveth his own soul: he that keepeth understanding shall find good.” Proverbs 19:8

There are a lot of ways to love yourself. You may have experimented with a few methods and still find yourself getting caught up in pouring yourself out day after day.

It’s okay, and even advised, to seek out those who can help you in these times.

Where the world pushes independence, the Bible encourages using the tools, resources, and people that God has established to help His people in times of need.

If you find yourself at the end of yourself, that’s a great place to be.

That’s exactly where the woman with the issue of blood was when she found Jesus and she walked away from that encounter made whole.

God knows exactly where you are and He knows exactly what you need.

He has placed resources in line for you to begin learning why it’s important to show yourself love and how you can begin to show yourself love.

If you need some help in your self-love journey, I’d love to jump on a call with you to help you through the first steps.

Don’t wait until your all poured out to allow someone to pour into you.