How many times have you called yourself fat in the last week? Last month? Last year?
How many times have you made “joking” remarks about how fat or disgusting you look to your friends or husband?
When you look in the mirror every morning, what do you say to yourself?
How about after an evening of overeating?
What are you telling yourself, even if it’s just in your head?
If it has anything to do with how disgusting and fat you are, you have a BIG problem.
Let me back up here for a minute. Let’s talk about the word fat.
Fat is adipose tissue in your body. It’s also a macronutrient.
But what it’s NOT is an identity.
You are NOT fat. You may have extra fat on your body, but that is NOT WHO YOU ARE.
Why is this such an important distinction to make?
If you think you’re fat, guess, what? You’ll take action to be fat.
You may be starting to argue with me.
“Amanda, you don’t understand, I AM FAT! That’s just the truth!”
No. It’s not.
The only real truth is God’s word, my friend. The rest are stories we are making up in our heads. Often without even questioning them.
This is terrible news because the enemy lies in deceptions or half-truths. They sound true, but they are DESTRUCTIVE.
Why?
Well, let me give you an example.
How do you feel (or think you would feel) if someone called you fat?
Miserable? Angry? Upset? Frustrated? Ashamed? Maybe a combination of all of these.
How does miserable, angry, frustrated, ashamed, feel in your body?
AWFUL! That's how those feel.
But you don’t want to feel awful so, automatically your brain seeks out ways to feel better. Your brain searches for some relief seeking out any way to get it.
What is the easiest, most accessible way to immediately feel better??!
Crazy, right?!
Let me break this down. You hear, “You’re fat!” You feel terrible. You use food to feel better. Now you’ve re-enforced you are “fat” to yourself.
You've just taken action to prove yourself true (even though you desperately don't want it to be true)!
These words don't have to come from other people. Saying this to yourself does the exact same thing.
If you believe a thought (never question if it's true) it gets stored in your subconscious. That means you may not even be consciously aware you're saying it, but you're feeling the misery of that belief and thus continually trying to seek ways to relieve the misery.
PLEASE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY! Too many of you are caught in this trap already.
Let’s use another example.
What if your daughter or good friend comes to you and starts lamenting things like,
“I’m so fat and disgusting. I shouldn’t even be seen in public. This is so gross. Do you see how gross this is?! Yuck! Who would even want to be around me? I can’t even stand it. I just want to hide and never let anyone see me this way.”
How do you think she is feeling? What does this kind of thinking lead to?
What would you say to her?
Here is what I would say…
“Honey, you are a beautiful creation of God. You may have fat on your body, as we all do, but you are NOT fat. You, my dear, were put here for a purpose and God has good plans for you. Right now, this is NOT a failure, but an opportunity. Opportunity to learn the lesson you need and grow closer to God through it. I want to remind you that you have most the most powerful Spirit inside of you. So that means you are enough… MORE than enough and so dearly loved. God doesn’t send his Son to die for someone He believes is gross, disgusting and a disappointment. He sent His son to die for someone that is VITALLY important and DEEPLY loved. If you want to care for your temple better, let's do that by starting with being KIND to yourself!"
Now take a minute. Take these words I wrote and say them to yourself.
But don’t “say” them. Instead, speak them as you mean it. Like you’re fighting for someone's life (because that's what you're doing).
Humbled?
Comforted?
Safe?
At peace?
Whatever you are feeling, I bet it’s better than when you were calling yourself fat.
How do I know? Look to his word…
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. 1 John 3:1a
The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— Ephesians 2: 4-5
I could go on and on about all He does for you BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU.
He doesn’t see you as a FAT disappointment. He sees you through the redemption that Christ brought… that’s it.
God treasures you. Speaks life into you through his Spirit.
Even though His Spirit may whisper, he’s speaking to you and wants you to know that you are a custom creation of God and have been prepared, in advance, for a God-given destiny.
I know that destiny is full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).
If not, it’s time to get back in touch with that Spirit!
The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6
Are you asking yourself, “How? I know all this stuff Amanda, but yet I struggle to live it.”
Oh boy, I can relate!
Let me tell you how to live it out!
By using what we see as the most backward tool…
Yes. Grace allows us to strengthen that connection with the Spirit. Grace is what needs to govern our minds.
Here’s why…
The enemy has us believing that if we are mean to ourselves, condemn ourselves, focus on the sin that it will motivate us to act.
But it does that exact opposite. It de-motivates us. Actually, when we condemn ourselves, we hide, or feel so helpless we don’t take action to alleviate the pain and frustration we feel.
Boy, does Satan love this.
But God says, I have a different plan. It’s a grace.
Grace is acknowledging the wrong, but then LEARNING FROM IT.
Grace sounds like this… “Not my greatest moment, but I’m stilled loved and worthy. Lord forgive me and help me learn from this. Help me to see the lesson you need me to understand to move forward with love and faith.”
What might happen if you use grace?
You might actually GROW and lean in with faith to CHANGE. You might actually STRENGTHEN your relationship with God.
Instead of staying stuck and keep recycling old habits, GRACE is the driver to get you unstuck and out of those habits.
But, if you’re like me, if you don’t get the result you want, you either get frustrated, angry, embarrassed, fearful, or doubtful. These keep you stuck and hiding.
There is nothing God-glorifying about hiding.
Plus,
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 1 Timothy 1:7
God knows fear and intimidation do not motivate us into positive change, but grace and love do.
It means:
Using grace and realizing how the enemy is lying to trip you up, will let you transition out of the behavior and get to the root of the problem.
When you know you’re eating for comfort, procrastination, stress, fear, people-pleasing… you can clean up the lies with the armor of God’s truth!
I know you know what ACTIONS to take to lose weight. That is NOT the problem. You don’t need to learn any more of those.
That’s where Christian coaching becomes vital. I help women understand the root of the problem, Satan’s deceptions, and then how to tune their mind into the Spirit so they use FAITH to follow through on the actions that bring abundant LIFE.
God gave you the belt the truth (Ephesians 6:14).
What does this mean? God gives us His Word to hold everything else in place.
Find 5 Bible verses about who God says you are and create “I am” statements.
Example:
For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. (Romans 8:2)
I AM SET FREE.
When you have your 5 “I am” statements, say these to yourself EVERY DAY. I suggest even multiple times during the day.
Start speaking to yourself and identifying who you are in Christ.
And remember…
The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6
No more calling yourself fat. It just brings more death and destruction.
Amanda Kaldor is a Christian weight loss and life coach, specializing in helping women reclaim their self-control over food so they can focus on their God-given calling.
If you want freedom from food, more confidence in who God created you to be, and increased joy in your life, sign up for a free Discovery Call by choosing a time convenient for you by clicking HERE.
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