Let’s imagine something.

What if you never feared what other people thought about you?

What if you had no problem with anyone judging you?

What if you were totally OK with them being wrong about you?

What if you took all criticism and negative remarks about you and learned from them?

How would you feel?

How would you act? 

Who would you be?

Really think about this.  Give yourself a couple of minutes to jot a couple things down.

Here is what I came up with.

• I would be more honest.  Honest about my likes and dislikes.  Honest about how I viewed the world. 
• I would take more time and slow down. 
• I would walk with my head held high and my shoulders back.
• More of my time would be spent focusing on my savior, Jesus Christ; praying, learning and teaching. 
• I would be happier and feel freer. 
• I would gain time to focus rather than spinning in doubt.

I would be confident in who God made me and the abilities He gave me.

That my friends brings us back to the definiti...

Let’s dive in.

No wait.

Maybe I shouldn't just get started.  I should probably grab your attention better. 

Ugh.  I’m no good at this.

I’m no good at any of this.

This never comes easy for me.  I should just give up.

I could always go back to nursing.

Maybe I’m better suited for that.  But, I’m not really that good at being a nurse either.  It’s just all a struggle for me.  I’m probably not destined to be good at anything.  I’m just here… taking up air.

And that is what goes through my brain when I don’t manage my thoughts.  When I choose to run with the enemy’s lies instead of choosing the Spirit’s.

When I walk down this road, I deteriorate any self-confidence I have been building.  I stop following through on my commitments and I start to hide or avoid the outside world.

I start proving the enemy’s lies true... that I'm just here, taking up air.

Two weeks ago, I explained why it’s vital that we Christian women take a good long look at our self-confidence.  If you hav...

“I want to fast until noon, eat only vegetables and get an hour of exercise in daily.”

This is the type of answer I often get when I ask people what goals they are currently working on.

I am not exaggerating either.

Last week’s blog post I told you about one of the MOST important thing I think most Christian women are lacking:

SELF-CONFIDENCE

You can find that post here.  You don’t have to read that post before reading this one, but it will help with making this post have more of an impact.

If you questioned how to start building self-confidence after reading last week’s post, I’ve got you.  That’s what we are going to start talking about today and over the next couple of weeks. I want to give you practical steps as to how to start building your self-confidence muscle so you can show up as your God given self even better.

Let’s start with the first step!

Building self-confidence is all about BUILDING TRUST.

You need to start building trust in yourself. 

Step numbe...

I was soooooo jealous in high school.

Seriously.  I was a mess.

Honestly, I can’t even say it was just high school.  It followed me well into college and a little beyond.

I was especially jealous of a particular breed of girls.

These girls weren’t usually what other would call the “prettiest”. They weren’t the smartest either.

Nope.

The girls that I was jealous of were the ones that could go up and talk to any male and not even bat an eye.  The ones that would stand up in front of the class and give a quick talk totally skipping the part where their hands shake and voice cracks.  The ones that could hop out on the dance floor and have the time of their life without any liquid courage.

You know those girls, right?

They had what I wanted so badly….

SELF-CONFIDENCE

I look back and wish I could have given the gift of self-confidence to myself back then. 

I wish I could have given myself what I know and have now.

There are so many misconceptions about self-confidence. 

Last week, I hope you took away a few things from the blog post. 

1. We all self-sabotage in some area of our life.
2. We can choose not self-sabotage, and align with God’s truths to fight the enemy’s attacks.

I want to give you some step by step instructions on how I stop the downhill slide of self-destruction.

To do this, I’m going to talk about how I followed through on the goal to write one blog post a week for a whole year.  How I managed not to self-sabotage and quit.

I hate writing.  I’ve never thought of myself as a good writer.  Since I don’t think of myself as a good writer, I gave up trying to get better.  I find no fun in it and it is a struggle to get me to write ANYTHING.

Here in lies the first key to stopping self-sabotage; knowing your opinions about yourself and the activity.

STOP telling yourself you're not good at "it". STOP finding all reasons you don't like "it". 

It's not helping.

I see this all the time with my weight loss clients.  They will t...

Can we celebrate for a minute?

THIS IS MY 53^rd BLOG POST!

That means I have writing to you all for over a year now!

WHAT?!

Three years ago, you never would have got me to believe that I would write that many posts!  Even a year ago, I would have told you,

“Yeah, right.  No way will I do that posts many in a row.  I hate writing.”

I would have said that because I knew I was really good at sabotaging myself.  Actually, I still am good at it.  When I don’t see the results right away, when things get kind of hard, when I don’t believe I’m good at it, when I don’t quite reach my goals…

I quit.

Then, I think something is wrong with me.  That I’m the only one that can’t follow through.  That I'm not good at anything.  That it must just be easier for those “other” people.

But those are all lies.

We all struggle. 

And we ALL sabotage ourselves.  Maybe not all in the same ways or to the same degrees, but we all do it.

Self-sabotage is when people get in their own way despite ...

I’m a weight loss coach…if you haven’t figured that out by now 😉

Women come and tell me they want to lose weight. When I ask them how they plan on doing it they go into a laundry list of ideas:

• Eat more vegetables
• Plan more home cooked meals
• Stop eating the sugar treats
• Eat less often
• Get up and exercise in the morning
• Cut carbohydrates
• Quit snacking in the evening
• Replace a meal with a shake drink

The list goes on and on.  While all of these are good ideas… none of them are the best way to lose weight.

Why?

Because, most people have tried these things.  They work for the short term but they always seem to fall back into old habits and gain the weight back.

Did you know that 85-90% of people that lose weight, gain it back again?  Not only that, but they usually end up gaining more weight back than what they lost.

So how does that 10-15% do lose the weight for good?

That's a great question.  One you should start out with if you want to lose weight and KEEP IT OF...

Brand new year.

Brand new you?

You want to... lose 50 lbs, exercise 30 minutes a day, clean out the basement, re-decorate the living room, volunteer an hour each week at church, add that extra project at work, stop fighting with your husband, spend 5 hours with the kids each day, bring a home cooked meal to church member each week, learn how to play the guitar, and schedule a date nights with your friends each month....

And you're going to figure out how to do this things in the next two weeks.

Overwhelmed?

Then...

Real life starts to happen. School starts up again, work gets stressful, kids become sick and the credit card bill from December is due.

Forget the goals.  Those seem way more stressful than the life you currently have.

You’re not alone in this. 

So many of us do this.  Not only do we have to many goals at once, but we also have REALLY big goals.

Let me tell you about last year.  I started the year with not only a lot of goals but also a REALLY big goal....

What do you do when NOTHING works?

How do you react when EVERYTHING is going wrong?

As I am writing this, I am trying to deal with 5 different tech issues at once.

Nothing is working right.

I can feel myself getting frustrated.

I can feel the anger and annoyance building up inside.

That’s when I glance to the kitchen. 

“I’m hungry.  Maybe I should get a snack.”

Yep.  That bad habit that I thought I had tamed pops up again.  I turn to food when I start feeling frustrated, angry, annoyed or just plain mad.

It may make me feel better in the moment.  But, only for a second.  When I get back to the tech issues, the frustration just starts flooding back.  Along with that, I'll be frustrated I ate.

If I had been using willpower to stop myself from eating, I would have gave in at this moment.

I would have thrown my hands in the air and declared, “I DESERVE THIS for the day I’m having.”

But I’m not using willpower any more.  It’s a limited resource.  It doesn’t help in situations...

It’s the week of Christmas and all the talk is about gifts. 

My kids get so excited to share what they received, what they want and what they are “sure” they are getting next. 

It is so fun to watch their excitement.

Well, this year I know what I want and what I’m getting.

I actually gave it to myself last year.

It is the gift that keeps giving.

It is the best gift I’ve ever received.

I became my own best friend.

I’m going to get back to that.  But first, I want to share part of the definition of a friend according to Urbandictionary.com:

“A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.”

This last year, I learned to love and respect myself.  I can trust that what I say I will do; I will follow through.  I’m honest with myself and aware that I’m not perfect, nor am I supposed to be.

It goes on to say, “A friend i...